Covering all spectrums...
Me: seriously.
Her: he thought i was kidding too till i told him "Call Nick if you want, i bit him, i warned him, he wouldnt listen . . . the minute you start to push me, i feel like its by force and i go to defensive mode, and you get bite"
Me: Absolutely.
Me: it's alot better for all parties included if it's not forced...
Her: exactly.
Her: so he had a comprimise . . . he figured when it was ok by me for his hands to be on my head . . i'd have pig tails . . LMFAO
Her: TMI right there
ME: LMAO.
ME: HANDLEBARS!
HER: "SHe had a coke bottle shape . . . . " fuckin eh . . . .thats why he loved that song dude.
ME: LMAO.
HER: totalyl need to listen to that now
ME: I told Chris, look, I have no problem with your hand on my head... even the whole fistful of hair is fine... but the pushing... Not going to happen. he looked at me and was like, "Oh shit... you're not kidding."
HER: ha ha, i love ludacris
ME: I still remember your mom watching the video for minute man... and with the line from Luda, "have them go to bed with their body still leaking shit..." or something like that.. and you're mom was like, "Oh! That's digusting!"
HER: LMFAO yeah, well . . . thats mom
ME: LMAO.
ME: Oh! Have you heard the pink song, "Waiting for love?"
HER: probably . . . i've got her new album somewhere
ME: it's not on I'm not dead.. it's on. Try this.
HER: prolly not then
ME: Dude, if you can DL it... it's a GREAT SONG!
HER: i'll do that in the morning, im runnin a clean up and it never lets me Dl when im doing that
ME: *sigh* and her song, "Who knew?" *whimpers* I love that song...
HER: shes a talented lil mofo
ME: I still love her to bits...
ME: to work with her one day would be the ideal for me. lmao
ME: i saw her live.. that was amazing!
HER: so did I . . Hard Rock . . . awesome freakin show
ME: saw her at the beacon theater for Mizundastood... wonderful show. Love her song NUMB from that album.
HER: fuckin eh . . . . that whole album was awesome
ME: 18 WHEELER! I wanna cover that song ...
HER: still adore Just Like A Pill
HER: and My Vietnam . . very powerful peice
ME: Dude... My friend Charlie Learned that on guitar just so we could play it together.
ME: lmao
HER: i wanna be in a rock band
ME: lmao
HER: i do
HER: liek nickel back or tonic
ME: I miss working on the music... :-\
HER: start again
ME: Love Nickelbacks Saving me...
ME: I need $ for that.
HER: Far Away and Photograph
ME: Far away... *sigh* I love that song...
HER: dont need moeny to write and sing . . . can always do that
ME: Photograph reminds me of my friend Tim who passed away... and Saving me... reminds me of Brian...
HER: far away reminds me of jeff . . . mind you so does photograph
ME: I know. It's just I need to be able to write music... and I can't do that... and I can't record because I'm broke. I can't talk with producers/songwriters... because I'm broke... lmao.
HER: fooey . . . . . grab your self a book on readin music or check out some websites, youre an intelligent person, you can teach yourself that.
Tommy lee can't read music, look where he is
ME: That's true...
ME: Did you just type Fooey?
ME: lmao
HER: yes i did
ME: I just get discouraged when it comes down to the, "You're so unbelievably talented...But... you need to loose weight." If I hear that one more time... I'm going to scream. I'm going to start my own label and screw everyone... lmao
HER: fooey
ME: LMFAO
ME: fooey?
HER: boonie says it all the time, fooey
ME: lmao
HER: AND chances are if you're lookina t partnering up with some one who is that superficial, they arent lookin at your talent, they are lookin at what they can mold you inot . . ie britney spears . . . . . you don't want that
ME: that true too
HER: i know its true, im very wise when i've been drinkin
ME: lmao
HER: there is truth in wine . . and in my case . . . freakin wisedom
HER: coudl be the beef jerky though
ME: going with the beef jerky...
HER: now THATS trailer park . . sourpuss and beef jerky, LMFAO
HER: i've lived up to my nick name . . . Ghetto Gap
HER: dont mind me
ME: I know better. lmao.
HER: but seriously, if some one is going to be that superficial, they arent lookin at talent, they are lookin at the product they can sell . . . thats all
ME: Good point.
HER: cause regardless, i can't see you being ok with conformity
ME: No. not really at all.
ME: I'd rather dye my hair purple and tattoo my face than conform.
ME: lmao
HER: you should look more into the indy lables . . .
ME: that's what I was thinking actually.
HER: they are a lot more giving when it comes to your own style and not ttryin to change who you are, i think thats a better way for you to go
HER: ahhhh The Cup Of Life . . . love this song too
ME: Ricky Martin?
ME: lmao
HER: shush ricky martin rocks . . . .
ME: That's one of the three songs of his I like.. lmao
HER: Christ, you guys were the ones that said i reminded you all of She Bangs . . i still dont get why
ME: wht you guys?
ME: *what
ME: huh?
HER: you dawn and mel when it first came out
HER: i remember you tellin me that on the balcony
HER: and i looked at you like you were on crack
ME: No clue... I dont know why ... and dont remember.
HER: i think dawns reasoning was cause it was abotu SEX . . . ohhhh . . .lol.
ME: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
ME: Cause everything to the Virgin in every aspect is about Sex...
HER: you knwo what i told some one the other day . . . and it made me smile how clever i was
HER: "You're mind is always in the gutter Erin"
"Yes it is . . . and the stars are always brighter from the gutter"
ME: Niiiice! i like it.
HER: but its true
ME: It is.
BNawghty: i think i miss that most about fort mac . . . so many stars, the northern lights, it was gorgeous.
First time Jeff ever saw the northern lights we sat outside for over an hour so he could just watch . . . .I loved the look of awe on his face, priceless. . . . im glad i got to share that with him too
HER: yup . . .time to put the sourpuss away lmao
ME: LMAO.
HER: only thing i dont liek about that stuff, wicked bad heartburn
ME: Brian laughed at me the first time I saw a shooting star... "Oh that's right, I guess you dont get to see the stars that often, huh?"
HER: well not in NY no, wait till you see one explode that is Phenomenal
ME: seeing a meteor shower in plain view... was amazing.
HER: fuck thats great
HER: i only remember seeing one meteor shower in my life
ME: yeah it was.
ME: I still wanna show brian that manhattan skyline from Jersey... fucker...
HER: all in due time
HER: im amused watchin Angel now
HER: i liek him better as Angelus, all bad ass and shit lol
ME: I dunno. I'm beginning to wonder if I feel into the friend zone again...
ME: I LOVED HIM AN ANGELUS...*drools*
HER: nothing wrong with beingin the friend zone, strange things happen there, when you least expect it
ME: LMAO. that's a new way of looking at it...
HER: im tellin you, wisedom in sourpuss
ME: but then why be all like, "I wanna go to work with you tonight... to listen to you talk about blow jobs and red headed sluts..." like wtf is that?
HER: but that acutally comes from . . . again . . . me and jeff . . . . friends first, close as all hell first, then when i gave up on the idea . . . BAM
ME: lmao
ME: he got on me about mys moking again last night... fucker.
HER: beacuse he's sortin shit out in his head . . . and seeing how comfortable it is for himself to tlak about things like that with you, to think about it.
HER: ahh, see jeff can't give me shit about taht, smokes more than i do
HER: am i thie only one that didn't know darren hayes was gay?
ME: he's quite comfortable with letting me know, that he likes to make sure, "Everyone enjoys" themselves when he has a hook-up... and I did tell him I have thing about licking ... lmao.
No, I had no clue either. Then again I thought Stephen Jenkins was gay... and he's still with Vanessa Carlton.
HER: i wouldtn think too much about it, you've put it out there, he needs his time to think about it all, get used to it all . . . . you're part in it all is done
HER: i like Faith better than Buffy
HER: random shit for you
ME: i did too. Felt more realistic to me... lmao
HER: very much
ME: Yeah I guess, my part is all done... but it's frustrating...
ME: i want a doughnut... is that normal?
ME: lmao
HER: i know its frustrating . . . thats why i say its time to focus on you now, what you need to do to be happy with yourself.
Only if its Krispy Kreme, i so miss those
ME: yeah I know. But I'm wallowing... lmao. I have to find a job... if I find one tomorrow... I'll be golden.
ME: lmao.
HER: everone needs a godo wallow
ME: And ick... I couldn't eat krisy kreme... thinking about them makes my teeth hurth.
HER: freak
ME: What did I notice... is that He starting stealing my phrases here and there... it's actually amusing.
HER: hate when jeff does that, but it is cute
ME: I laughed out loud when he used, "golden" last night. "Wha?" "That was really cute..." "*laughs* Okay... "
HER: lvoe when he's all bad ass . . . so pimp.
Mawwwww
ME: lmao
ME: He squeaked the first time we were on the phone... he went to say something and yawned at the first time... and I was all like, "OMG!" "What?" "Did you just squeak?" "Uh... did I?" "Aww.. that was soo incredibly cute, funny too.. but incredibly cute..." he just laughed at me.
HER: that is cute
ME: I do love him... the fucker.
HER: cordellia got knocked up by conner, ewww.
HER: its a bitch isnt it
ME: Yeah it really is. and it's a whirlwind... never felt like this before...
And I know! Connor is sooo noooooooooooo
HER: messed up.
think of it this way hun . . . on the rollercoaster ride your going to take . . . your just going up the first hill right now.
ME: But I hate rollercoasters. lmao
HER: learn to love em, cause love is rollercoaster ride, and an amazing one . . . better than the merrygo round anyday
HER: when your on the merry go round you've lost the passion, and the passion is what makes it feel so wonderful
HER: i sound old
ME: yeah ya do... lmao.
HER: blame jeff, if he hadnt come into my life, i wouldnt know what the hell i was talking about
ME: lmao.
HER: but . . . . I wouldnt have had the ride of my life either.
ME: That's the important thing...
HER: do you know how absolutel incredible it is to hear some one say "I Love you" and to have a feeling like there is no one on the earth other than the two of you . . . and when he looks in your eyes and smiles softly . . . you feel like the most beautiful creature on the earth . . . .
Sappy I know, sorry
ME: It just sucks because, I've honestly never wanted to SHOW someone something like the new york skyline... or the Bronx Zoo... like how random... I was never so excited with the possibilty of someone meeting my family... like HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? lmao... and never soo angry that my grandfather won't ever meet him.
ME: And no I don't know what is like....
ME: but I'm glad you do.
HER: thats love baby, its nto random . . . . its just love.
HER: pure, innocent and wanting nothing, just love.
ME: so the first time I feel this... it's right for it to be just me... and not from him? how is that right?
ME: I know I get that. Love is just felt. alot of the times you can't desribe it... and sometimes you're not supposed to...
HER: im not saying its right, im not saying its wrong. Thats not up to me . . . but it shows you that its there, that you can and will feel this way . . . . and that love is real.
ME: I guess I desrve that... I, for the longest time, thought it wasn't real.
HER: as much as i have to take that from jeff and i - if nothing else that its amazing that I've felt like this, felt this deeply about some one . . . you have to take that away from all of it too, if nothing else. It's real, it is going to happen to you, and you have to have faith.
HER: exactly.
HER: you thought it wasn't real before . . . now what do you think?
ME: I honestly don't know if I want to feel this with someone else...
ME: Now...
ME: I think it's so real it hurts...
HER: well, i don't want to either to be honest . . . HOWEVER . . . if i look at it this way, its not so bad . . . if for some reason the powers that be decide that we arent meant to be, then someone is going to come along that makes me feel more deeply, and then it'll be ok with me . . .but imagine how intesne that would be? Its a two way street I think.
ME: you have no idea how my heart started racing when I looked at the caller ID and saw it was him... I was like, "Mel, I have to go." and just hung up. It was like for the first 20 minutes of the conversation we both we were trying to cover everything that's happened in the last few days... and kept talking... he just wouldn't shut up. And he sounded Happy... and I haven't heard that in awhile.
HER: thats good. He needs to be happy, so do you
ME: I think you're the first person I actually admitted that I love him to. I think because it would make it real...
HER: i knwo all too well that feeling . . . you're the only one i've told that "Yeah .. . . fell in love with him all over again, maybe still, who knows, but I love him"
HER: but i think that comes becuase i know you wont pass judegment, and you know i wont either
HER: OY - matches are not good when youve been drinking
HER: i burnt my finger
ME: I know we both do. It was just so natural for us together... even if nothing else in the same room... It wasn't like we were constantly trying to make sure everyone one was having a good time... he sat in the living room and dozed off or watched porn... and me, mel and Dawn were outside while me and Mel were smoking. lmao.
ME: Ouch! I did that last night though.
HER: honeslt, i know i'v esaid it before, but the way you talk reminds me so much of me and jeff, like you just fit . . none of that bs where you hide parts fo yoruself from the other peron because youdont know how they'll react, everyone does it, even close friends, but its like your an open book whether you wanna be or not, and its scary, but so comforting at the same time.
ME: No. we've had in depth conversations over the phone through email... myspace message. whatever. i still remember that he said what Dawn said to him... made sense... that she made some good and interesting points...
ME: Yeah. It's weird. It's like I've never hidden anything from him... even like 10 years ago. He was the one I could tell anything to...
You should've heard us last night though, I was all, "Fuck you too asshole." he just laughed. and said something about how if I didn't understand what he was saying, "Do you want me to talk slower?" "Oh for the love of God, No." "Are... you... sure?" "Yes, for crying out loud ... yes."
HER: LMAO
ME: ya know what show I like? "Mad about you..." what I want is a marriage like theres... full of life and love and passion.. and that constant craving to be with that other person for as long as you can... and turn around and smack him and be like, "What's the matter with you?" *thwack*
HER: had that . . . lost that
HER: and its wonderful.
HER: and that i could totally see being the two of you
HER: perfect balance of respect, passion, love and humor
ME: Yeah... amix of Mad about you... and Roseanne.... lmao
HER: LMAO i was just thinkin that
ME: Yeah I can see that too.
ME: LMAO.
ME: I looked at my mom the other day and was like, "I need a marriage like theirs..." "Yeah. you do, don't you?"
ME: lmso
HER: mothers always know
HER: I think iwant that because of Uncle Bob and CHcoha . . . been together since they were 15, he still holds her hand when they go out, takes her out on dates, buys her i love you gifts for no reason, and still they both hate being apart from eachohter . . . its amazing
HER: 37 years later
ME: That is totally amazing... they are the idealistic marriage. lmao.
Yeah. To just be that taken with someone... to be out of your mind about that person... to go from one minute to being all about the kissing and hugging to having the doorbell ring and the neighbor bring over rice krispy treats to have him yell, "No! Over here!!!"
HER: LOVE that
ME: Then again..Brian doesn't eat Rice Krispy treats. lmao
HER: theres always cookies
ME: Only if their home made... he doesn't eat cookies,doughnuts,cake... nothing like that.
HER: nothin beats homemade .. i want cookies
HER: ok, lmao . . i have Who Knew
ME: I want brownie.
ME: I absolutely, love that song...
HER: cherry cocnut cookeis . . so freakin good
HER: reminds of jef . .bastard
ME: I love that song.
HER: OMG does it ever remind me of him
ME: yeah it's a good song...
ME: really good song.
HER: short though
HER: maybe i ont have the whole thing . . . cause this one is only about a mintue and a half
ME: yeah. I'm telling you... when you can... get that song... waiting for love... that should be my theme song... lmao
HER: sometimes i really hate this random button on here
ME: lol
HER: i havent heard this song in a long time . . . and im not real sure i wanna hear it now, but i can't seem to turn it off . . .
ME: what song?
HER: Angel Eyes . . . .
HER: was goig to be our first dance
ME: ouch.
HER: its a gorgeous song, and its the most random story too . . .
Its not by any means a popular song, most people havent heard of it, but since i was 13 i've always said thats my wedding song, no ifs ands or buts about it . . . driving with jeff one day talkin about the wedding, he goes "Ohh, i have an idea for our first dance, i don't know if you'll know the song or not . . . Angel Eyes . . I want our first song to be that one"
HER: i was speechless when he said it
ME: I would've freaked right then and there...
HER: "Tonight i'll ask the stars above, how did i ever win your love, what did I do, what did I say to turn your angel eyes my way"
You have to hear it, you'll see why the sap that i am fell in love with this song lol.
HER: i did freak out
HER: makes me cry still . . . but im smiling when i do
ME: Ya know what song does that to me? Believe it or not... Kelly Clarkson, "You found me"
HER: "THeres just one more thing I need to know
If this is love, why does it scare me so
Must be something only you can see
Cause girl i feel it when you look at me"
Don't know that one, will have to DL
ME: Oh and Daniel Beddingfield, "If you're not the one"
HER: ohh i love that song
ME: Oh you have NOOOOOOO idea what that song does to me... lord.
ME: You found me-
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
HER: ya know what, i think that story is one of if not the most favorite of mine and jeffs.
HER: damn
ME: That is a Great story...
HER: thats a sign if i ever heard of one i think
ME: yeah.
ME: You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
HER: aww, my fav part
"Dont anybody wake me, if its just a dream
Shes the best thing ever happened to me
All you fellows you can look all you like
But this girl you see, shes leaving here with me tonight"
HER: Good lord . . . .Im afraid to hear that song now lol
ME: lmao
ME: So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe
HER: i so enjoy her voice
ME: This song... reminds me of me and Brian... no? I ... uh... dunno. Just kinda hit me now I guess.
HER: yes it does
ME:
And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?
ME: You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
HER: fuckers
HER: im liking waiting for love . . . very haunting almost
ME: how good of a song is that?
HER: dont know why but it reminds me of STP - Atlanta
HER: its really good . . . i enjoy
ME: Believe it or not.. I have that album.. never really listened to it... but heard it today it was at the of the show about the brothel... lmao
HER: which one
ME: waiting for love.
ME: lmao
HER: it fits
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